Entries by mariatopper


I want to give you and insight into what quarantine as a mom is like, a lot of my friends have asked me about it, and most of them are single/no kids (the good life…jk kids, I love you, most of the time) so they can’t imagine what this situation is like, so here it goes.

Mila’s Birthday

Her birthday was on Monday, so Philipp and I spent almost all of our Sunday baking princess-unicorn cupcakes, and Philipp baked an amazing unicorn cake ! we stayed up until 1:00 am baking, and decorating cupcakes.

On Monday we brought half of them to her kindergarten class, and she was so excited !! When I picked her up in the afternoon, and not only were the no cupcakes left, but her teacher asked for the recipe haha.

What if

Maybe Mila would’ve still arrived too soon, but maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t have missed her birth, maybe I would’ve heard her first cry, maybe she wouldn’t have come all alone, and that’s what almost 4 years on still hurts, the “maybes” the “what ifs”


Philipp and I have always done things the “unconventional way” we actually started planning a wedding and THEN got engaged, but that’s kind of what I love about us, we don’t really play by the rules and I love it.

World Prematurity Day

Being a NICU mom is hard, it’s not something that stops once your baby leaves the NICU, it something that stays with you. The nicu is a place where you have to be your strongest, even while going through the toughest and hardest moments. 

Madrid 2019

At times I find it hard to let go of the way things used to be before kids, and it doesn’t mean I don’t love and adore them, just that it was different, in ways, easier, but I am so thankful for what I have now…

World Mental Health Day

I battled postpartum depression for a very long time, sadly, when I opened myself to someone and expressed how I was feeling and told that person I thought I should talk to a professional I was met with words like “only crazy people go to therapy” or “that’s so stupid, just go out with friends” my favorite “just get over it”.

Sylt 2019

We started planning our trip to Sylt over a year ago, way before I even got pregnant. Actually we had two trips planned, Sylt and Tuscany, Tuscany would’ve been in June, sadly we had to cancel that trip as I would’ve…

Alexander James Pt. 3

I wanted to divorce Philipp after I found out that when I asked him to get the midwife he didn’t run down the station and actually got her, but instead, went to the bathroom, and took a 20 minute shower in peace…