HOW WEARING THE WRONG SWEATER RUINED EVERYTHING

07. September 2019

I wore the wrong sweater out… it almost cost me my sanity.

When I became a mom 3.5 years ago, I didn’t get the chance to breastfeed Mila, with her being so small, and in the NICU and all the complications it just didn’t work for us back then, so this time around, I was convinced I wanted to breastfeed Alex, I read all the articles, followed all the Instagram pages on the subject, got breastfeeding vitamins, etc.

But, there’s one little thing I didn’t actually think much about, my clothes.

Sure, I had gotten enough breastfeeding bras, but that just wasn’t enough. Let me share a little bit of what a mess it was yesterday, all because I wore the wrong sweater to go out.

The plan was simple, take the train into the city at 3:30, meet with my in-laws, wait for Philipp to be done working and go have dinner. That’s where the mess starts; As any mom knows, once you push a little human out of your body, you will most likely never have a warm meal again until those little suckers can eat themselves; So I made a failure proofed plan in my head so this time : 1. I could have a warm meal, and 2. Wouldn’t have to flash my boobs to the whole restaurant.

The idea was simple, as soon as we get there, I’ll pump some milk directly into the bottle, and feed him whenever he gets hungry, While I was eating Philipp agreed he’d feed him so I could enjoy my meal. Sounds perfect right?

WRONG !

The food arrives, and it that moment he wakes up hungry, so I give Philipp a look, like “you know what to do”, he feeds Alex, but then… Little dude wasn’t satisfied with an entire bottle, he wanted more. I tried pumping some more into the bottle, but it was taking too long (for my non mom friends, a pump can’t get as much milk out as a baby), so he’s crying, he wants milk and I say screw it, I’ll give him the boob, my sweater is big enough to cover him (I still don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of everyone) That’s where the real shit happens.

Of course, he didn’t like that, because 1. I had just pumped a whole bottle of milk, so my boobs were basically empty, 2. It was way too hot under the sweater, I tried lifting the sweater, to let the air flow, but damn sweater was just too big, I just couldn’t get him comfortable, that and my empty boobs really pissed him off.

So I have a boob out for everyone to see, a screaming baby, a toddler who now decides she wants to play with me, and a husband who means well and wants to tell me what to do to make it better, but he’s just annoying me, oh and people in the restaurant staring at me while I lose my shit.

So that’s it, how a damn sweater ruined my meal, I should’ve worn a button up.